Bachelorette trip to France

Mulling it over, it became clear last month that I need to do something other than the typical bacholerette party. I’ve never been interested in seeing a stripper (male or female) and I’ve never been out at the bars in Miami to say that I know where we’ll head. Add to this the fact that it’s only one night that usually ends sloppy (from what movies and Bridezilla show me) and there is no doubt about it. I would prefer to take a trip instead… to Paris.

The original destination for this trip was Los Angeles, California. That was mostly due to how I was celebrity-crazy after meeting BJ Novak from The Office. What can I say? I was happy he won the Dundee Award for sexiest employee. Two of my bridesmaids and I concocted this plan to hit up Hollywood and take pictures with as many celebs as we could. If celebrity gossip blogs are any indication, we could get pictures with just about anyone and everyone so long as we hang around. That plan fizzled out after we thoroughly thought it out and noticed that it’s pretty expensive to spend a few days in LA. We may as well spend the money on a trip to Europe. Great idea!

So we opened up Google maps, closed our eyes and pointed to a random destination. The rest is history. (Or at least that’s the more dramatic, adventurous, if-money-was-no-object-I-would-do-it way.)

Actually, what we really did involve Google maps, but then we also opened up about 25 browser windows connected to numerous travel sites that offered deals and discounts. We compared costs of spending a few days in Spain versus those same days in Italy versus those same days in France. If there’s anything that our senior design course has taught it’s that you can just b.s. your way through anything cost comparison is key. After hours of weighing pros and cons of each destination, we went with Paris, France. Maybe it’s because none of us have been there before or because we really like French wines, but this does seem to be the perfect place to visit before we graduate. And that’s the other part to this trip.

Turns out one of my bridesmaids will not be attending my wedding since her family has travel plans during the month of July. Normally, it could be worked out, but they plan to travel through North Korea and those kinds of visits are really difficult to plan out. Add to that the cost of a round-trip plane ticket from Seoul, South Korea to Miami, Florida and it’s looking like we better do something together now before we part ways. So this trip is more than a bachelorette  party. It’s also our celebration that, despite all odds, we made it to graduation. We kicked some butt and took some names. We rolled with the punches and made it out alive from the underbelly of Olin Hall.

If anyone has any advice as to where to go in Paris, stuff we shouldn’t leave without checking out, food we should try (or avoid), or anything else, please let me know. Like I said above, none of us have been to Paris. It’s going to be quite the experience and we’re up for doing as much as we can in the span of 3 days.

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Wedding Song

As this event begins to take shape, I find myself moving from the large tasks on the to-do list to the finer details. We have a venue, I have a dress and we have a few people who are committed to paying for the catering, cake and maybe even open bar. With only 3 months now, the focus shifts to things like flowers, favors and music. That music piece seems mostly figured out since I hope to save money by hiring a DJ instead of a band. But what will my wedding song be? I have no idea.

I had forgotten there was such a thing until a classmate asked me about it. She finds weddings very important and the song that you dance to as a married couple carries significant weight with her. I guess I can see that. Nearly all the romantic comedies dealing with weddings make a big deal about this song. In “The Wedding Planner” J.Lo pointed out how Fran’s wedding was doomed from the moment she chose teal as the color for the bridesmaid dresses and Olivia Newton John’s “I Honestly Love You.” Ok, so maybe this is the only movie I can remember so clearly, but I’m sure other rom-coms have married couples who fight about the wedding song and oh-my-gosh how could you not remember what our wedding song was? It’s similar to the usual fight seen in movies of the couples who make a big fuss about “their song”, you know, that day they met and sparks flew and they kissed and fell in love. Bad example coming up, but it’s the only one I can think of: Adam Sandler and Kate Beckinsale in the movie “Click” showed how important that song was. He practically saved his marriage by recalling it!

Not to get all sappy, or show the full extent of my useless pop culture knowledge, but I think I should devote time to choosing this song before we end up dancing to the Macarena as newlyweds in front of nearly 100 guests. I know I don’t want something too slow or cryptic either. I want something that says, “we’re married and this song speaks our joy.” Even though it hasn’t been approved by the groom, I like Jack Johnson’s music. In particular, I like “We’re Better Together.” Does it sound wedding appropriate? Maybe not, but it does have the message I would like to convey and it sounds kinda summery, which guess what season contains July?

Anyway, my choice in a song is limited by my musical taste and lack of time to listen through entire rows of artists at the music store. Have you any suggestions on a romantic song that’s danceable? I’m not looking to waltz or do the foxtrot, just the typical high school slow dance. That is, unless we can cram in a full week’s worth of swing dance lessons before the big day. But then it would look like we’re performing in a dance competition being judged for our style, rhythm and on-stage chemistry. Scratch that. I’m keeping it simple.

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Not apologizing

It was brought to my attention that my religious beliefs have upset certain individual(s) to the point of severing ties with me. From here on I’ll refer to said individual(s) as Guy. Guy felt that I have such a haughty attitude regarding what I believe in that it made no sense for him to try to stay friends with me regardless of how I tried to contact him over periods of time. To provide background to this situation, I have no recollection of discussing religion with him, much less of getting angry or hostile to the point of snowballing the argument with, “That’s it! I don’t want to keep talking about this!” If my years at college have taught me nothing else, it’s that very few people agree on religious perspectives and, yet, differing views on religion are not reason enough to shut people out or to demean what they believe in. And demean he did by summing up what I believe in as “Jewish zombies and sky ghosts.”

I tried calling Guy over the phone to see if he was being serious or joking because, over the time I knew him and saw him, he was more of the joking type even with serious subjects. This is the person who wanted to name his research paper in English class, “Ebola: Friend or Foe?” the same person who made me laugh after saying the most ridiculous things that came to his mind. In truth, there was even a time when I thought we could go out because, as I later found out, he had a small crush on me and I felt similarly towards him. I share all this because I saw it as reason enough to want to continue a friendship over the years regardless of where life took each of us and where we were geographically. I was wrong. Although I should have taken the unreturned phone calls as a sign, I just saw it as, “He’s being his usual lazy self, not keeping in touch.” What I had to find out from a third party is that Guy really doesn’t want me in his life in any way, shape or form anymore. I don’t “add value.” Furthermore, my religious views are so contrary to what he believes that he sees no way that we could discuss anything else worth discussing.

I would like to know what he thinks my beliefs are. I really would because I’ve never shared with him what I believe in for him to make such a judgement.

So why write about this on my wedding blog? What does this have to do with my planning? Well, aside from finding all this out right as I was trying to invite him to my wedding, I write about it here in order to lay out how my (apparently) irrational beliefs will not be the focus on the wedding. If I was as close-minded as he claims I am, I would not have 90% of the guest list I have now. This isn’t to get defensive about my faith and be all, “Hey hey, I don’t really take that stuff so seriously anyway,” because the truth is I take it very seriously. My stance is that I will not apologize for what I believe in, likewise I don’t expect anyone to apologize for what they believe in. That Guy is a hardcore atheist is his choice and I at no point expected an apology. At the same time, I didn’t heckle or bash him for his faith or lack thereof. I didn’t tell him that he is going to hell or pester him with why he should believe what I believe.

This is the attitude my fiance and I have taken with our ceremony: Yes, it is a Christian ceremony with pastor or priest, but that is the only religious part of the whole event. Most people seem fine with that. To think that neither of us wanted to get married in a church or place of worship says enough. I’ve gone further and explained to my parents why I won’t do anything with rosaries or churches or long drawn out religious acts. In essence, we are planning a wedding that will not have many people who agree with our views on the world, but can be happy for us as our lives are united in a ceremony that means a lot to us.

There is so much more that I would like to say about this mess, but that I feel wouldn’t add value to the discussion regarding my wedding. The end of the story with Guy is I see now how very serious he is with his opinion regarding me and my “religious BS,” and, still, I let him know that if he ever wants to contact me again, I’ll be available. Unlike him, I don’t measure people’s worth with how much value they add to my life based on how much we agree on certain topics.

Toast to this | 22 made a toast